Queen Victoria to the Princess Royal – Frogmore, 16 March 1861
On this most dreadful day of my life1, I must write you one line! Dear Lady Augusta (who has been like her child) will write to you an account which I could not, beyond that the end was peaceful, painless and that her dear hand was in mine to the last. Oh! But the agony of watching the ebbing of the life of one so dear, so precious, is not to be described. I have just been to see her, so peaceful, so beautiful an expression! that when I think that she can never speak to me again, that that dear loving voice is forever still that her love and affection can no longer cast a sunbeam over us – then I feel as if my heart would break! You, my darling, have seen a death bed – I never. But then you saw only the death of one you did not know and who had been unconscious for so long! You may imagine what it is – when it is the dearest object (but one) you possess! I never shall forget those dreadful hours of the night and this morning. But God’s will be done! What the loss is to me – no one can tell! For forty-one years never parted for more than three months! One of the great sorrows is that she never saw your children. That was her greatest and my greatest wish. Oh! If only you had come last winter! She said when William was born she feared she would never see him! I own that that breaks my heart to think of!2
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